As we all get ready to start partying for the next month and a half until the final tolling of the bell on New Years Eve, I think it's time we take a few moments and silently reflect on elves. Yes, ELVES! What do we know about them? Really, nothing. They're the straight men to Santa's one man show. They're the ones left behind Christmas Eve at the melting North Pole. And what exactly do they do that evening? Okay, so probably they're still working that night in case Santa has any screw-ups along the way. But when the jolly one pulls the sleigh into the barn and says "No, really, no more cookies. I'd like a nice California Chablis, a bag of Cheetos, and my slippers" what do the elves do? I'm thinking...they get plastered! Elves Gone Wild! I give you Beech the dancing party fool, and Ham the mixer of all things lethal. Imagine the YouTube videos of the mayhem. I'm guessing the partying goes on for a couple days before Santa tells them all to chill out and get started on next years haul of consumer items. 

Beecham's Pills_paper doll_ft_tatteredandlost
Okay, so maybe it's just my imagination run wild, but I often like to think of what elves do in their time off. Maybe it's just me.

As often is the case there's more to this story. These little fellows are actually advertising promotional paper dolls from the late 19th century offered by the Beecham's Pill company. Want to know why they look like this? I think they might have used the product. Do you know what happens when you take a pill made out of soap? Well...you get Elves Gone Wild! but not in the way they'd hoped for.

Beecham's Pills paper doll_bk_tatteredandlost
Beecham's Pills were a laxative first marketed around 1842 in St Helens, Lancashire. They were invented by Thomas Beecham (1820–1907), grandfather of Thomas Beecham (1879-1961).
The pills themselves were a combination of aloe, ginger, and soap, with some other more minor ingredients. They were initially advertised like other patent medicine as a cure-all, but they actually did have a positive effect on the digestive process. This effectiveness made them stand out from other remedies for sale in the mid-nineteenth century.
The popularity of the pills produced a wide range of testimonials that were used in advertising. The poet William Topaz McGonagall wrote a poem advertising the pills, giving his recommendation in verse. Two slogans used in Beecham's advertising were "Worth a guinea a box," and "Beecham's pills make all the difference."
The pills, and their marketing, were the basis for Beecham's Patent Pills, which became Beecham Estates and Pills in 1924, eight years after the death of Sir Joseph Beecham, the son of Thomas Beecham. The pills continued to be made by a succession of Beecham Pills Limited, Beecham Pharmaceuticals Limited, Beecham Health Care, and SmithKline Beecham. The manufacture of the pills was discontinued in 1998. (SOURCE: Wikipedia)
And so it goes...so to speak.


  1. "Ask your druggist for the FREE book on Constipation and Beecham's Pills, and GO BY IT.

    ROFLMAO Why is this so funny?

  2. It is so funny. The thought of people walking up to the druggist counter, looking both ways over the shoulders, and then whispering, "I'd like the free brochure." "Free brochure about what?" "You know." Druggist leans in, then gets a gleam in his eye, and reaches under the counter and hands them a brochure about the use of condoms. "Oh NO! CONSTIPATION! I WANT THE BROCHURE ABOUT CONSTIPATION!"

  3. I would have guessed water pills, cause it looked like the tinkle dance.

  4. And here all along I've been thinking he's dancing to Ballin the Jack:

    Now, first you put your two knees
    Close up tight.
    Then you sway it to the left
    Then you sway it to the right.
    Step around the floor kind of nice and light
    Then you twist around and twist around
    With all of your might.
    Stretch your lovin' arms straight out in space
    Then you do the eagle rock with style and grace.
    Swing your foot way round and bring it back
    Now that's what I call ballin' the jack!

  5. Hey there Danny. You do it the best!
    I miss you.

    I thought it was the Pee Pee Dance also. but now that you mention Ballin' the Jack. I see it. I see it!. Yes. that is what he is doing. He is the performer Elf.

  6. Yes, of course. He's about to "swing 'em to the left and then" he'll swing 'em to the right. He's a jazz elf. A real get down elf and his bad stuff.

    Yeah, I miss Danny too. Good times. Good times. I still need to do my Danny post.