Send them home with SOMETHING IN THEIR STOMACHS

Looking for just the right dish to serve to guests this 4th of July? Something festive? Something colorful? Something that looks like you just threw it together the last minute? Look no further. Del Monte, Ladies Home Journal 1964, has supplied a simple recipe that would have a home economics teacher sighing. You'll send your guests home with something in their stomachs. I'm not sure how long they'll keep it down or if they'll even stay...but...perhaps if you have relatives coming that you wish would leave early....

Now, I know a lot of blogs offer recipes. Obviously this isn't the forte of my blog, but I didn't want to be left out completely. In my search through ephemera I'm often amazed, no make that stunned, by some of the recipes I find in magazines from the 50s through 70s. Earlier magazines still ran recipes where you were expected to cook, not just pour contents of cans into something. This recipe is the can pouring type. And whatever you do, don't take any shortcuts. Remember to use the garnish. The garnish is really what holds it all together. Presentation is everything. 

Click on image to see it larger...if you simply must.

My favorite book about these sort of recipes, shown in magazines and old cookbooks, is The Gallery of Regrettable Food by James Lileks. The book is hysterical. There is a link in the left column which will give you more information and reviews at Amazon. 

Smoke cigarettes...GET GAS

As a kid I always got such a kick out of the signs reading "Eat Here Get Gas" because well, I was a kid and they were funny. Okay, I still find them funny when I see them, only now I have to figure the people who put the signs up surely get the joke. They couldn't possibly be as dim witted as to not notice what this says about their establishment. Well, okay...maybe I give people too much credit. Which brings me to....

I found this cigarette ad in a July 1969 Ladies Home Journal. Cigarette ads have always tried one of two methods to sell these damn fire sticks:

• make the product appear sexy or
  
• make the product sound healthy.
  

For a long time both worked. I'm not sure now what works, but I think Nascar has got a lot to do with it. Which brings me to cigarettes, cars, and clueless people buying a used car. 

There's simply so much that could be written about the absurdity of this ad. What exactly are they trying to sell? It's not sex appeal. And none of these people look particularly healthy. The woman is just a "carrier" for the product. The two men, the creepy car salesman and the equally "This is my little woman" husband, are the smokers. And they're talking about gas? Forgive me, but was anyone awake at the ad agency when they had this meeting? If this is what was chosen, what was turned down? And would you really say to a friend, "Here, try one of my gas-trap filter cigarettes." Wouldn't your friend look at you like you're crazy? 

Click on image to see it larger.

My sympathy to anyone who chose advertising. Most of you have probably lost the tips of your tongues from biting them off when a client goes for the dumbest concept known to the world.

"Save the planet. Stop global warming. Smoke Larks." Makes sense to me. Quick, somebody draw up the storyboard for the 15 second spot.

Would you buy MUD FROM THIS MAN?

Where to begin? What to say? How soon before it all sounds offensive?

Meet George. George wants to sell you his mud. Ummmmmmm...ohhhhhhhhhhhkkkkkkkkkkay.

I found this ad in the September 1972 Ladies Home Journal. I don't remember this ad running back then. I was probably too busy with college and/or I just wasn't reading the particular magazines where George decided to do his Cool Hand Luke imitation. Was this an effective ad? I don't know. It sure got my attention now. And I started to wonder if this company was still around and if ol' George still looks like this. 

Well, he most certainly would be old George. According to the companies web site, and yes, the company is still in business even if you've never heard of them, George's sons now run the company. Here's a link to a part of their site that actually shows this ad. The company is called Arizona Natural Resources, Inc. I don't know that I've ever seen any of their products, but since they manufacture products for other companies it's possible.

And if you want to see George now take a look a this page, last entry in the right column. You just never know what you'll find when looking through old magazines and then toss in a small dose of google.

Do take a look at the ad larger. You really must read the copy. I just have to wonder about all of it. It states in the first few lines:

In an advertising agency you hear a lot of wild stories.

But when George walked into our office with some mud he found in the middle of the Arizona desert, and told us it could perform small miracles on your face, we all thought he had to be crazy.

I bet they did! Did he walk in looking like this? A little bit sweaty with an "aw shucks ma'm" attitude, carrying that dirty dirty shovel over his gleaming shoulder? I'm just askin'? I'd have said "Mud? You want to sell me mud? Okie dokie! I'll buy whatever you're sellin'!" I believe that might be me on the left side of the ad, arms raised in surrender.

Oh, I bet this issue of LHJ was well worn at the hair salon from all the ladies under the hoods. How many of the ads got torn out and stuck on walls? 

Todays lesson, and you can quote me: Sex sells...just about everything.

Click on image to see it larger.